wow its been awhile...well xanga, facebook, and myspace are blocked from my computer...and no one looks at this any more anyways...but for those of you who do...im in ohio on my way home from mission trip in toronto canada...it was utterly amazing...i wish we could have stayed longer...well i got a car for those who don't know and my bday is in 4 days...hahaha i can't wait...well not much else...call if u get the chance...if you don't know my number ask someone for it...and if u don't know anyone i know then well sorry but i love u anyways...everyone have a great rest of the summer since i won't get on here for a long time...lots of love and god bless...

lauren nicole

on v-day my mom got me a shirt and it had this verse on it..."We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete." - Hebrews 12:2...and then i started thinking...which is never a good thing...ive been thinking about all of my friends and everything that they have told me about and we have talked about in the last few days...for most of my friends they want something to happen and if it doesn't then it is completely devastating and their life is over...that's it...everything their life was centered on is gone and a part of them has been stripped away...but i do the same thing in every area in my life...i read my bible and go to church and have all the sunday school answers...but i still center my life on my acheivements...like piano...there is a guy at my school who is a senior...and an absolutely amazing pianist...even though he is a senior i was boiling over with jealousy and had a big pity party for myself about how i wasn't good enough and i shouldn't even try to be good...but other things like having the best grades...making the best choir...and (like just about every other ) guys also have been what i have been aiming for...because if i reach one of those...then life will be so much better and i will have such a happy life...or at least that is what i sometimes think...ive been raised in the church since i was born...ive been a nazarene since i was in 5th grade...but if i stop to think if i have every let God complete me in ways nothing else can...i don't think i ever really have...what i will do is ill see the student with the highest grades...the person who made it into madrigals...the that every guy knows...or something that i am not the best at and i begin to wonder why...and i come to the conclusion that i am not good enough...i guess i just have issues trusting God...i see how i want my life to be and i think that i will be so happy if my life is perfectly my way...it's been preached in church amillion times that only God can make your life more complete than you can imagine...but giving up control is harder that i imagined to...pray for me please...